Goofy People Wandering in the Neighborhood

[Swedesboro Castle]

I've been at my new place for only two months. Before we bought it, the house sat empty for years and the locals all remember it as unoccupied. We are on the "main street" and are getting approached by a few local "personalities". One personality took it upon themselves to sit on our front porch, with their two kids and eat take-away Chinese food. They did this after lightly knocking on the door for one of my family members they "met" outside our house a few times in passing. When we opened the door, after five minutes of peeking through our curtain, the personality announced that they knocked and waited for our family member. I determined that this problem had a lower threat number and chose to stop this problem in a non aggressive manner because I couldn't chance that this idiot wouldn't crawl off to their hole, steam about the issue, remember it wrong, get fired up and return with a warped version of me "throwing them off my porch". Our porch is a covered portico, no gate (yet) and is a few steps off the public sidewalk.

So I announced to the intruder: "Thank goodness my security cameras alerted me and I saw you on my cell phone (smart phone) monitor. I didn't hear you knock but I saw you guys sitting out here. Can I help you with anything?" The personality got nervous and made polite excuses but quickly gathered up the kids, cleaned up the take-away cartons of food and cordially dismissed us and hustled away down the sidewalk. There haven't been any camp-outs since. Also, in that situation, I didn't want to upset the young children who didn't understand why they were there. Later, we learned, that person is a well known con, banned from local stores for theft.

It's not the approach I'd use each time, but I thought I'd share it so people can put the security camera / smart phone tactic in their arsenal of defense. Even if you don't have a security setup, it can be an effective way to scatter trespassers who engage you verbally. They are less likely to stand there and spin their one-liner-tales hoping to say the magic lie that will enable them to win your trust and get them further into your personal space. Oh, and don't be afraid to bring the hammer out that you've been holding hidden behind your thigh. Hey, I just said I had another idea about how to thwart the unpredictable public intruder, I didn't want to imply I don't support the hammer technique.

I have a rusting roofing hammer, with the hatchet on one side, that I use out front of the castle to tap in nails for decorations etc. On recent Autumn sunny days, I paused from my work with my rusty hatchet hammer at my side. I'd wave at and chat with the folks who dawdle and admire our residence. Most are harmless but a few tried to size me up, and shake me down, for a few bucks while looking past me for a peek into a window, off their public path. I give them a dismal sigh, a downward glance and tap the hatchet a few times with a dirty work glove and say: "Times are getting tough for me too. Tryin' to cut corners any way I can. I don't have anything to spare and it upsets me to have to tell you that." That gets a return reply of: "Hey.. it's cool my brother, we're cool, it's gonna be cool!"

Yes it is "cool" to own a unique house but you gotta be prepared to "Out-crazy the crazies!" But that's a whole new thread for another day!

[cadrad]

I get a lot of people wanting to do yardwork, like shoveling snow, raking leaves or cutting grass. I actually hired one one time, but then he kept coming back all the time, and eventually just wanted money.

The weirdest thing was the people in the yard... I live on an outside corner and the garage sits behind the house facing the side street. The house used to be a buisiness, and so the whole back yard is paved as a parking lot. we have sort of an estraz patio set up on the asphalt behind the garage with a grill a dining table and a firepit. Across the way is a "center for woman in transition" For three consecutive days, I had a woman and a man who came and sat arount the fire pit for a couple of hours and who would argue with each other. It is not visible from the streety, so I don't know how the knew it was there... they didn't hurt anything really, and repositioned the chairs when they left. I never confronted them, as we thought they were doing no harm, but it was weird, and oddy presumptuous.

The other odd thing to do with the center is the fire drill. I was getting ready for work and I see 40-50 people standing in the parking area next to the garage, smoking, laughing, and chatting. When I go out to see what is happening, they are having a fire drill and the previous owners let them use the lot.... I guess I don't mind it either, but I had no idea what was going on. We are taking up the asphalt and putting up a fence in the spring, so that will hopefully fix some of the issues...

[phil]

What a great thread I just found it and had a good read and a few laughs at the stories.

I have a lot of sales people, religious people etc and I keep saying I am going to put a sign that says
"GOT A CLIP BOARD IN YOUR HAND? KNOCK FOR A FREE GINCH PULL" i think neighbors and friends would just have a giggle and sales people wouldn't know what to do

a couple of weeks ago I had a hooker follow me down the lane and right to my door at about 6 in the morning when I got home from my girlfriends place. she was obviously on crack and kind of freaked me out the way she came right into the back yard. I told her get lost or I am calling the cops and I did ! we have had a lot of problems with hookers around, usually I would just ignore them and figured oh well they have money at least, but they bring around some bad vibes. my neighbors 10 year old kid had a guy pull up behind her and seemed to summon her, as she turned around I guess he realized how young she was and moved on but it was scary for the mother.

I get junk collectors asking for metal and sometimes notes on my spare parts cars for scrap removal , had someone scoping out my boat like he was going to steal it. my neighbor had someone come in and take all the pop and beer cans she had stowed away. Petty theft but still freaky.

I have an old friend that used to get really drunk. one day on his way home he picked the wrong house and thinking he was home just went in and crashed out on the couch. he woke up the next morning to a shotgun to his head. Embarrassed and scared he explained what had happened. it was early in the morning and he was supposed to go to work so they fed him breakfast and made him a lunch and he was on his way I guess he picked the right house lol and I bet they started locking the door after that .

One easy thing you can do if you have a driveway is to put a few strategically placed pop cans near the cars so that anyone wandering in will kick them over, it works great if your driveway is on a bit of a hill as they will roll and make quite a racket and it is at least pretty harmless.

[Corsetière]

I've had my share of weird visitors too. Our whole property is surrounded with a chin-height iron fence so most folks move along but a couple of special snowflakes just can't take a hint.

I work from home so I inevitably see any shenanigans that happen to occur. Last year I saw a some guy screwing with and pulling on the lock on my gate and I yelled out the window "CAN I HELP YOU?!?!". He proceeded to tell me that he thought my house was a "pizza place". Uh huh....yeeeaaah right....

A couple weeks ago I caught a middle aged couple in my back yard! They had to open my garden gate and walk pass the fence to get back there. When I questioned them about their purpose for trespassing, they tried to chat me up about my landscaping! And when they realized I wasn't having it, they had the nerve to tell me that it was my fault for not having a "No Trespassing" sign! After some investigation, it turns out that they were contractors that were hired to work on the building next door! I was completely shocked at their total rudeness and unprofessionalism. Now I am not a violent person, but I live in the city and people should realize that if you wander into the wrong yard, you're likely to find yourself staring down the barrel of a gun! It is not a safe idea to go wander into stranger's yards!

[JRC]

I just read this thread, and realized that I've gotten off pretty easy, so far.

This neighborhood has more than its share of group homes. (These grand old houses, with all their spaciousness, lend themselves to dormitory style living, apparently) So, there are more than a few unstable people wandering around.

Since I've lived here, though, I've only had to deal with one guy, and he seemed harmless. More than once, while I was outside, he stopped by to ask if I was aware of the benefits of having a notepad, to make lists. He went into all of the things that could be listed on a notepad, and then he rambled off all of the places he could think of that sell notepads.

[Nicholas]

I had this vintage Ford in my carport, a 1954 rat rod. One morning, I happen to see my neighbor who we barely talked to sleeping in the car. She gets drunk a lot and fights with her husband. So I get her out of the car, and bring her inside. she is disheveled, and she wants a drink of ....alcohol.

So I tell my wife that Donna was sleeping in my car and wants a shot, I pour the drink. She goes into the living room, comes back and says thats not Donna. So I go and take another look, it looks like our neighbor. I give her the drink, and ask her name.

She says "Donna". I look at my wife, she is looking again, and she asks do you live next door? She says no, and says she was staying at some aunt's house and got kicked out.

Oh.

Well your welcome for the drink, can I take you somewhere.... not next door? Somewhere far away?

Turns out she was wandering the neighborhood, saw the car in the carport and decided to sleep it off. I took her to the one place that would keep her for one day, the local AA. She introduced herself as an alcoholic and that was the last time I saw that "Donna".

Kind of reminds me of that old Twighlight Zone story about everybody having a twin.