Sing a song of spackle!

[Neighmond]

Posted this masterpiece of nonsense back a few years somewhere else and figured I would raise it from the dead.

To be sung to the rough tune of "Home, sweet Home"

When the abstract comes, and some ain't there, there's no place like home,
And there's four lines in it that you can't get clear, there's no place like home!
When there's half a tub of spackle and twenty coats of paint,
That'll make a buyer think that he's a gettin' what he ain't...
And fixing all their screw-ups tries the patience of a saint, there's no place like home!

When the house inspecter runs out of ink, there's no place like home!
And there's something in the crawlspace that sure does stink! there's no place like home!
When everyone's afraid of the last light bill,
If the gas don't get you the insurance man will,
And it puts you in the poorhouse, but you stay there still, there's no place like home!

When you're living next door to the missing link, there's no place like home,
And all they ever do is fight and drink, there's no place like home!
And their kids are crude and their dogs all bite,
And they wake you up a'fussin' in the middle of the night,
But when the cops come along, then it all gets quiet, there's no place like home!

When you hear water running in the middle of the night there's no place like home,
When you reach for the switch and there isn't any light, there's no place like home!
When you leave the windows open and it rains and pours,
And you're wetter inside than they are outdoors,
And your speed dialer starts with the hardware stores, there's no place like home!

When your finally sure that the end's in sight, there's no place like home!
When everything's fixed and it's all done right, there's no place like home!
All your family thinks you gone insane,
When you find another wreck, and start over all again,
And they wonder if the paint stripper ate your brain, there's no place like home!

Cheers!
Chaz

[eliza_jayne (WavyGlass)]

I love this!

[Neighmond]

I'm thinking of putting a post on you tube with it.