How do you force yourself to wait?

[Willa]

Even though I am now a lone wolf, the house stuff can induce restless, fretful nights. Unlearning my ex's intense 24/7 aggressive rushing is hard, as is learning to make sensible, realistic priorities, and to be more flexible. If I think about every single thing that needs doing - or bad house things that might happen - and what it will cost and how long it will take - none of it even seems possible to accomplish. If I break it down to the components of the room that need fixing - that IS manageable.

I cannot say that each and every project was 100% completed before the next one was begun, as things are frequently interconnected, like dealing with an electrical issue in several rooms, or waiting on some part to arrive, and going onto something else while in a holding pattern.

Some things, like dealing with the yard, can't be put off until Feb. Some house tasks require a bigger budget that is already trimmed to the bone, so to balance that I have been chasing free perennials on CL. I am not the world's biggest orange daylily fan but they are 1000x better than the 5M goldenrod rhizomes that were sprouting that had to be thoroughly dug up. The new (free)day lilies look straggly but are hard to kill and will look fine when they are established by next year. This is a step towards progress.

It really helps to balance the sucky tasks with ones that are psychologically rewarding. My kitchen is a disaster that will only get worse before it gets better - but those day lilies are planted and surviving. Both are important, both are valid. Would I like to alphabetize my still boxed up vinyl ? Yes, but the garden and kitchen take priority. And nothing bad will happen to my not alphabetized records while I do other things.

[TexasRed]

I completely understand where you are coming from Lily. I likely can't offer any better advice than Willa or the others have already given you. Take the time to write out a list of everything that you need/want to do, organize it by room or type of work (electrical, painting etc), have a clear budget and stay focused on short term goals.

It is hard for me to break the house down into small projects, much less ones that are completed before starting another. The WHOLE house is constantly playing in my mind. I'm very much a big picture thinker and multi task type, it certainly makes it hard to not want it all done now! The exterior projects are numerous and overlapping right now, quite overwhelming. (emphasis on overwhelming). I'm going to try very hard to approach the interior 1 room at a time - start to finish.

If you are worried about a washer change falling apart and turning into a big fix... just imagine what the scope is with siding! (Maybe that will help)

Good point Mick This is truer than you can imagine Lily. (ask me how I know this)

[Lily left the valley]

If you are worried about a washer change falling apart and turning into a big fix... just imagine what the scope is with siding! (Maybe that will help)

Ha! I have imagined, though...many, many variations that would include the words "Oh cripes" (and worse) being uttered when found. It's honestly what stayed my hand when I started reaching to remove the third piece of siding on the porch. Stupid heart-on-fire doesn't listen to reason and logic, though. I'm finding it's better to instead distract it with other things it has been on fire about that are now done, like the rain barrel.

99% of the time a leaky faucet is one of two things - a washer or a seat. Both are easily replaceable in most faucets.

The drip is in the tub, not the sink. The tub faucet seems to be original...
...although the middle water control does not (can't think of the right term). That's actually what I'm wondering may be the culprit. When we first struggled to turn it far enough to try to get the drip to stop, it had that "oh, I don't think it'd be wise to keep turning any further" feel, and was way off where it should be on the dial--hence the concern about falling apart. It's also only dripping hot. When I shut off the hot water to the tub, no drip at all, which is why I'm hoping washer somehow. Of course, my gut says, "HA! Just the washer. Oh suuuurrrre.", which is why I haven't taken it apart. I'm not used to dealing with these single control units, so I'm not certain. I've looked at some references about them, but that was a while back now.

{snip}It really helps to balance the sucky tasks with ones that are psychologically rewarding. My kitchen is a disaster that will only get worse before it gets better - but those day lilies are planted and surviving. Both are important, both are valid. Would I like to alphabetize my still boxed up vinyl ? Yes, but the garden and kitchen take priority. And nothing bad will happen to my not alphabetized records while I do other things.

In a sense, that's what I've been trying to do. Even a tiny project like having a screen door that actually latches took only a half hour, but felt great because I fixed it well enough for now and moved on. Kitchen...yeah... we didn't even do any major work in there (unless you count spending less than a full day's worth work ripping up the vinyl hiding the lino), and it's still taking forever because of all the little bits, like the old carpet staples still in the baseboard, removing the sticky icky contact paper off the undersink cabinet only to find rust in the weirdest of places and residue from same paper, and the hatch door to the bath plumbing haven swollen no longer fits, and, and... I don't want to imagine how much more there would be if it was larger than a galley kitchen!

I meant to say this in my earlier reply, but I was pressed for time to do some daily stuff that was in need of being done. You have a gift with clever word grouping, Willa. Homely house puberty was my favorite in that post, but not the only one that gave me a smile.

Agree also on the "if I was doing this while single" difference. All of the unpacked boxes would be in one room, while the rest of the house would be in various stages of "waiting on X". Sean puts things off until it bugs him or I nag him to death, then he tries to rush through it and I have to fix it later when he's not around to hear me cursing the day we met. I have learned in 16 years that certain habits of his will not break, and I have learned to work around them as best I can. (Ask me about "One box high Sean" some time.)

{snip}It is hard for me to break the house down into small projects, much less ones that are completed before starting another. The WHOLE house is constantly playing in my mind. I'm very much a big picture thinker and multi task type, it certainly makes it hard to not want it all done now! The exterior projects are numerous and overlapping right now, quite overwhelming. (emphasis on overwhelming). I'm going to try very hard to approach the interior 1 room at a time - start to finish.

I originally planned to do the one room at a time approach, but Beebe told me that just wasn't happening because she'd been neglected, and X, Y, and..oh, yes, K and V hadn't been seen to in years. It also went counter to the "wait a year" promise I'd made for anything not on fire (excluding aforementioned heart).

So I had scrapped the room by room to completion early on, and it was the same overwhelming brain won't shut off that did me in, as I am the same. I have been known to mumble something related to a project on the house when Sean has woken me up.
~~~
Sean and I actually did a quick exercise for the "sake of my sanity", as I said at the time. I asked him to name three things he felt were a priority, and then I named three. Then we put them in order.

It's a start.

I know I still haven't individual replied to some earlier responses that I want to, but it's really late here now.

It can't be said often enough...thank you everyone!

[1918ColonialRevival]

Mixer valves have been around since at least the 1910s. Some are easier to get parts for than others (most parts for Standard fixtures are readily available). Hard to say without a clearer picture, but yours looks like it might be from the '50s, though it could be the replaced lever on the outside that's making it appear so. The spout looks like it's probably original to the house. If the control lever on the outside has been replaced, that's probably not what's causing the drip, as these are usually just screwed or bolted onto the valve stem.

If you can find the manufacturer of the valve, you should be able to track down an old catalog of theirs that has either a cross section or exploded view of the interior.

[Texas_Ranger]

Not sure if I should recommend my method... start so many projects at once that you get burned out and won't even bother to start another huge project!

There's my parents' two houses in the countryside (one inherited from my grandmother and sort-of livable but in dire need of a major overhaul despite of what was done in the second half of the 90s, the other across the street and in a permanent state of renovation since late 2008) and on top of that the downstairs apartment in Vienna (where my brother wants to move in but that's currently being used for storage mostly) and on top of that I should write my MA thesis, another project I feel burned out on.

That apartment has a nice vintage bathroom, probably done in 1949 that probably has an expiration date in near future. The vintage tile was messed up when water pipes were converted from lead to PEX and copper back in the late 90s, the floor is a seriously ugly grey terrazzo (original but pretty much unbearable), the sink has separate hot and cold taps and the tub drain needs to be replaced. The biggest issue is that the bath drain is all lead and there's only a 15x15 cm (6"x6") access hole so replacing that will mess up the tiles even further. The tile isn't anywhere near high enough for showering without getting the walls all wet so we'd have to carefully remove the cap tile, install reclaimed tile further up the wall and then reinstall the cap. Ugh!

[phil]

It's as if all the houses were built for short people. my bathroom counter is so short it makes me feel like a giant

[Kashka-Kat]

re the original question, I dont know - my problem is I don't wait. I have a habit of taking things apart before I really should, before Im prepared to put it back together. Its just so satisfying though I cant help myself! The prev owners here did SOOO much that was stupid, unnecessary, poor quality and ugly, that just getting it out of my sight I feel is a huge improvement.... The problem with this approach however is that then Im confronted with exponentially MORE WORK which doesnt always get done right away... just gets added to my already huge "to do" list. Case in point - removing the wet mildewed drywall+ studs covering a foundation wall in the basement. What inspired it was needing masonry repair on the outside of this wall and they asked what the inside wall looked like. So now.... while the air quality is much better in the basement(no moldy odor) now in addition to repairing the water damage on the exterior AND interior walls, I have to hire someone to relocate the electrical and plumbing that was on the wall that was removedl, get a new window sash (old one that was buried under insulation is rotted) and I might as well paint the concrete floor again etc.

I took out an ugly rotted door to fire escape a while back and now theres just a plywood panel (dont worry its removeable). Someday to be a real door again. Sigh.

[phil]

Lily is lucky because her woodwork isn't all painted over but if you have wood you want to strip that's usually a time consuming job but cheap on materials especially if you aren't buying chemicals.

Even to strip a door you can pull the hinge pins and strip away and then pop it back on when you are due for a break from it.. nice to use the time to do stuff you want done. Even paint can get expensive but deywalling is another thing I find isn't huge on the material cost. I saved lots with used materials and I found if I go to Rona and offer the manager half price for all the broken ones I can usually trim out the broken corners and whatnot in the end it's fine.

Some jobs are materials intensive and others are time intensive. If you can get to some of the time intensive ones at least the time you spend now lightens the load and gives you a feeling that things are going forward..

I often just watch Craigslist materials and base projects on using up the free stuff so if I find insulation I might do a job around that to get it out if my way Getting the yard under control is another chore you don't want if you get busy with other stuff. Then you are able to let it go and change focus without feeling you should do that.. it all adds up over time..
It sounds like you are accomplishing lots actually

[Manalto]

Getting the yard under control is another chore you don't want if you get busy with other stuff.

The exception to this is what they call the "bones" of your design - the trees and shrubs that take some time to get established and fill in to their mature form. If you'd like a tree for shade, or a hedge for privacy, for example, and you know where you want them to be, plant them as early as possible. A growing plant goes about its business without, except for the occasional watering, demanding any attention from you. And a young tree or shrub is not only far less expensive than a large one, it's the wiser choice because young plants are less likely to experience transplant shock. In a few years it will get established and put on lots of new growth while the big, pricey balled-and-burlapped tree languishes, still reeling from the experience. But the immediate-gratification urge is strong, particularly with those who have the big budgets to gratify that desire. "Why plant a puny 3' tree when you can spring for a nice 12-footer?" they say. Well, because in five years the smaller tree will outpace the larger. And keeping newly-installed plantings watered in the hot, dry weather is the perfect excuse to take a break from nasty, smelly work and fill your lungs with some fresh air - and enjoy a cigarette (jk).

[phil]

good point about growing them in place rather than transplanting when mature. You know lots about this stuff. I cant' make grass grow..