How do you force yourself to wait?

[Lily left the valley]

Thanks to a broken siding piece today, and wanting so badly to bring back the wood, all I can think about is how good the wood is in its entirety just behind the front porch railing and skirt sections that are currently covered in a mix of asbestos and Masonite siding. Before, my cunning plan was to just check the basement jut out because it's in the back (in case it turns south quick so neighbors won't hate us) and small (easier on the budget).

Now, though...there's a fire in my heart and I don't know how to extinguish it. My cunning plan cries out for notice and I just push it aside. In my mind, every time I come home, I want to see at least that porch wood restored. Leaks in the bathroom I've got temporary work arounds on? They can wait. Fixing all the parting beads that have popped and just won't stay put with a tap back so the windows don't rattle in a slight breeze? Oh, and don't forget there's no insulation in the attic? I'm sure I'll get then all done by Fall. Etc., etc.

I know this is insane. I am currently juggling between more than a handful of projects--not the least of which is taming the yard & gardens--plus still unpacking. No way do I have time for this, especially if it turns out the wood will need deep love and attention. Of course my brain is screaming all sorts of justifications like "But what if there's been moisture trapped in between all those layers on top and you find our half the wood has been occupied and those occupants are still there? That's important, right?"

How do you successfully put off a "want to do" project so that inner fire doesn't eat away at you?

Your , please.

[Willa]

You have got to be prepared for a worst case scenario before you jump in.

If you tear off the existing siding, and discover that 1/3 of the original wood siding is great, and 2/3 are not salvageable, then what ? Can you afford the materials to jump in to repair/replace what is damaged ? Do you have the tools, the skills and the time to embark on this NOW ? You will also need ladders and/or scaffolding. The siding removal may reveal issues with soffits and fascia boards which may lead to needing to repair or replace eavestroughing, sills on windows, exterior trim. If it's torn up, and you don't have the funds for materials, etc. what are the consequences of living with a house that has tarp or sheathing for X period of time until you can complete this ?

From my perspective, it is really important to work on one project from start to finish until you embark on another. A house that has several areas torn up and barely liveable will make you feel nuts.

As will waiting on that contractor, who you spoke with months ago, who is disorganized and far behind schedule.

Exhibit "A" - my bathroom floor: I've had the tiles since late Feb., plumber-pal-of-contractor was ready to start then, contractor was not able to actually do this until early June. Plumber Pal refused to work on my house in a huff when I re-inquired "late", as though the delay was some personal slight towards him, therefore I had to hire other plumber who charges more than double, plus tax. My first plan was to remove the vinyl floor, remove the plywood subfloor and refinish or paint the original wood floor, which in theory would cost the price of a can of paint. In practice - I still would have had to have the sink plumbing moved, and the bathtub temporarily removed. I also could not find matching boards to patch in what was missing, unless I bought 500 square feet of reclaimed boards(what was locally available at that time). I got a great deal on the tiles, so they cost me about $ 270.00 for the room, plus the insanely expensive grout the contractor requested - $ 106.00 plus 13% tax, plus extra charges to have the original floor patched in, with new subfloor on top, plus the tile installation plus plumber(s) - two were needed to move the tub = way, way, way more than that $ 35.00 can of paint plus incredibly quick plumbing for the $ 75.00 sink that I was dreaming about.

My $ 0.02 (CAN): pour some water on that fire in your heart/brain. A house that is unpacked and organized is a really, really, good place to start, and live .This will help you feel more organized and grounded. Start some small jobs and see them through from start to finish. Some things like the yard are seasonal, and you can do what you can right now, but it may take a couple of years for new plantings to get established and looking good = you'll have to bear with some homely house puberty.

If you get too much on the go at one time it is easy to feel overwhelmed, which will prime you for a major house/life/relationship/financial meltdown-freakout which is just bad to contend with.

I had an ex who was always in a MAJOR BIG RUSH about everything, and brought major big stress with that about not accomplishing things according to his utterly unrealistic schedule. It made many things suck much more than they ever needed to, and left a lot of fairly simple projects half done, which was much worse than if they had not ever been started. This is not a reality show* where you have to overhaul a decrepit property in one week to sell it for a 300% profit or lose your investment. This is not a race or a competition.

You've got to pick your (house) battles. A major thing like a leaking roof or leaking plumbing is an emergency, and should be dealt with thusly. A fussy rimlock in a room whose door is never shut is very, very low on the priority scale v.s. the roof (for example).


* Those reality renovation shows are scripted and edited and in no way reflect any reality whatsoever.

[JacquieJet]

I can totally relate. I find that I have the urge to sink my teeth into many projects around here- and truthfully, we always seem to have a few on the go at once. But, for me, the limiting factor is cash. If I had the resources to do so, I would do everything all at once! But I know myself, and I know that the more we go into debt, the less sleep I will get because of it (excessive debt really bothers me). So, for my sanity, I reel it in.

[JRC]

Based on some threads I've read here, in the past, I get the impression that some people get burned out more quickly, when they have too many ongoing projects around their house.

I'm not sure that I'm good at following my own advice, but I try to save the "want to do" projects as rewards for getting the "have to do" projects out of the way.

[vvzz]

I don't hold myself back. I have at least half a dozen of sizeable projects going on at once in various stages(from demo and tool acquisition, to final coats of paint) As long as you know you can finish them at some not so point, I see no problem in that.

[Willa]

I've also got to add - since you have a spouse/partner - you MUST have discussions about what you are planning to do to the house, and when, and what you think the projected financial and time budget is going to be. You also need to discuss your expectations as to their participation in said project.

Their priorities may be different. It is not considerate to just jump in and start doing a (house) thing which may be expensive or disruptive without discussion and negotiation.

My ex did this a lot. It sucked extra as I worked from home. I needed peace and privacy to work, which was in conflict with noisy power tools and dudes underfoot. My ex made more money than I did, so he was always financially able to do whatever reno thing he wanted to do - but became resentful when I could not match this without some serious budgeting that would take me years to ever catch up. House things that were important to me, were ignored by him, even though we both suffered from the horror kitchen with no heat for 2+ years. He had previous construction experience, I did not, and he was unwilling to teach me anything. He was happier employing an addict buddy, who was usually hungover or semi-high, which was really unsafe. My ex would never ask me what I thought about XYZ project, he would just tell me that he was going to start working on XYZ this weekend (or whenever), never mind my deadlines, or commitments.

The renovation chaos definitely magnified the issues within the relationship. The ex is an ex.

If you are single, and have the resources, then you can be the master of your own project, and live for years with plaster dust in your food and bathrooms without walls, and there is no one who can stop you !

[1918ColonialRevival]

I like to get a project at least 50% done before planning the next unless of course there's an emergency. My wife and I both work very stressful jobs and the last thing we need is to get stressed out at home because we feel overwhelmed.

That's not to say I complete an entire room before moving onto the next. My project list might be: run new BX cable to Bedrooms #1 and #2. When that's done, repair plaster in Bedroom #1, etc.

[Lily left the valley]

Thank you for sharing all your sage guidance and tips.

Maybe what I need to figure out is how to douse the fire better, really.

Even if the logical part of my brain has already told me some of what has been written, I know I needed to hear them again because it's not sunk in yet. Getting there, though.

I've also been trying to figure out a pace that works without eating up a lot of a week so other everyday things can't get done in a timely fashion. The trick is scheduling blocks, as many things are unique situations or first times doing that particular thing to that bit, as it were. I found a few spots where there are handy estimates for X project depending on one's skill level, and that has helped to an extent. I also started a little notebook to keep track of roughly how long it takes to do something that I likely may have to do again someday (like replacing connections in the stove). I do the notebook because if I don't do it right then, I often forget when I'm near a computer later.

I have been trying to make better efforts of late towards finishing smaller projects for sanity and because it's easier.

The bathroom drip has been killing me because it could be an easy fix (just a washer), but I've had experience with what happens when you try to do what seems on the surface as an easy fix, and the bits fall apart as you dismantle, leading to the larger (but still needed, really) fix.

One thing Sean and I haven't discussed is a priority list. I realized that as I was reading through responses. We've had scores of talks about colors and what room this goes in and where's this and what have you, but not the priorities. That might help with the sanity part a lot too, because I'm always haunted by his one request "I don't want to be living in endless construction." Which, technically, we're not, but I know some of these projects on my mind will get like that if I'm not mindful.

Since we are on a very tight budget, priority has been a hovering bookmark in my head, but we haven't discussed and made the list outright. I still feel guilty about even buying a washing machine, even though I know it's a huge time saver so I can get more done in the long run. The one thing I'm truly glad about is that I've been pretty good about not spending money just to get something done even though I'm certain we have the bits needed, and also not buying supplies we're not ready to use just yet.

A lot to mull over as I'm working in the yard and tackling some laundry that I can actually hang outside without fear of rain.

[Mick_VT]

If you are worried about a washer change falling apart and turning into a big fix... just imagine what the scope is with siding! (Maybe that will help)

[1918ColonialRevival]

Thank you for sharing all your sage guidance and tips.

Maybe what I need to figure out is how to douse the fire better, really.

Even if the logical part of my brain has already told me some of what has been written, I know I needed to hear them again because it's not sunk in yet. Getting there, though.

I've also been trying to figure out a pace that works without eating up a lot of a week so other everyday things can't get done in a timely fashion. The trick is scheduling blocks, as many things are unique situations or first times doing that particular thing to that bit, as it were. I found a few spots where there are handy estimates for X project depending on one's skill level, and that has helped to an extent. I also started a little notebook to keep track of roughly how long it takes to do something that I likely may have to do again someday (like replacing connections in the stove). I do the notebook because if I don't do it right then, I often forget when I'm near a computer later.

I have been trying to make better efforts of late towards finishing smaller projects for sanity and because it's easier.

The bathroom drip has been killing me because it could be an easy fix (just a washer), but I've had experience with what happens when you try to do what seems on the surface as an easy fix, and the bits fall apart as you dismantle, leading to the larger (but still needed, really) fix.

One thing Sean and I haven't discussed is a priority list. I realized that as I was reading through responses. We've had scores of talks about colors and what room this goes in and where's this and what have you, but not the priorities. That might help with the sanity part a lot too, because I'm always haunted by his one request "I don't want to be living in endless construction." Which, technically, we're not, but I know some of these projects on my mind will get like that if I'm not mindful.

Since we are on a very tight budget, priority has been a hovering bookmark in my head, but we haven't discussed and made the list outright. I still feel guilty about even buying a washing machine, even though I know it's a huge time saver so I can get more done in the long run. The one thing I'm truly glad about is that I've been pretty good about not spending money just to get something done even though I'm certain we have the bits needed, and also not buying supplies we're not ready to use just yet.

A lot to mull over as I'm working in the yard and tackling some laundry that I can actually hang outside without fear of rain.

99% of the time a leaky faucet is one of two things - a washer or a seat. Both are easily replaceable in most faucets.