I guess we lost a member...
Posted: Wed Oct 19, 2016 9:40 pm
I have replied to many questions and answers here on the forum. Over my life I have learned so much from My dad and he was always so happy to show me how to do things and no matter what I started he always seemed to come around with a better way than the way I was approaching things. Of course we'd argue and I'd try to stick to my guns and do it my own way , but usually by the end we did it his way 
Looking back I think the main reason I was compelled to share as much info as I could was because I was always proud of his accomplishments and how well he had done with so little education. He built a few houses and I grew up around him working and coming home and working more on his own. He was able to retire early because he saved his money and worked very hard.
Dad grew up in the 30's .. He had to quit school to sell newspapers to help support his parents. He never had the opportunity to finish school when he was young. He became a cabinetmaker in his teens and apprenticed under an older cabinetmaker that made reproduction English furniture. In the early 50's he married mom and became a carpenter. The money was better. he worked on houses but mainly larger warehouses and bridges. When he got to his 40's he was considered disabled because his spine was calcifying. at that time his doctor said he'd decline until he was in a wheelchair. He continued on to complete many projects on his own after that and maybe because he wasn't out working he had more time to share with me and my brothers. He always said he had to keep moving to keep in shape and that meant more projects, not fitness exercise. He worked in a suitable manor for his abilities.
It was ten years ago that he had an accident. he used a golf cart to get around his property and managed to go down a hill backwards and hit a tree. We had to decide then if he was to go through surgery and he did. He survived extreme surgery and came out one year later with his back all pinned together but he could walk and he wasn't paralyzed except for some nerve damage in one leg.
he made it ten more years. he taught me how to build my kitchen cabinets and a lot about woodworking as I was keen to learn and work with him although he could hardly walk by then. The last 5 years he had to be in a home because it was too much for mom to look after but we visited often. My life often circled around helping him and my mom. towards the end it was difficult. he lost the ability to swallow properly and thanks to a tube feed he made it another 6 months.
Before he went I had a nice talk with him and I let him know I have been sharing a lot of his ideas here. I told him that every day in my job and at home how I have been using and sharing all he taught me. He smiled and I know it made him feel good to know how much he helped me.
I think he could see that in a way he lived on, not only through the things he accomplished, but through all the help and the learning that he shared with everyone around him. Suddenly it dawned on me that this must be the reason I have posted so often. He taught me to share info and to help others where I can and I will continue to do so.
Sadly my Sister who was also loved by the family and very well treated by my parents, decided to move almost all their money into her own name and now we are involved in ugly legal action to get it back. I also lost my sister through her actions and she will be missed as well What she has done is dishonest and unforgivable. I think I am more saddened by my sisters actions because they were preventable and she could have chosen to correct them. We will just do our best to cope with that and hopefully we can get mom's money back in her name before it severely affects the care we can give.
Mom and us three brothers took it pretty well. We are sad but also we know he's in a better place now and it was getting hard to see him suffer and he did suffer to give us a bit more time. I am especially surprised to see how well mom took it. we will of course step up our visits with with her. she's in the same care home and since she's not so disabled we can take her out more.
Dad will be sorely missed but I like to think that every time I am able to pass on something he taught me, He lives on in his own way. I'd like to thank all of you for listening and I'm sorry it wasn't such a happy post.
Phil
Looking back I think the main reason I was compelled to share as much info as I could was because I was always proud of his accomplishments and how well he had done with so little education. He built a few houses and I grew up around him working and coming home and working more on his own. He was able to retire early because he saved his money and worked very hard.
Dad grew up in the 30's .. He had to quit school to sell newspapers to help support his parents. He never had the opportunity to finish school when he was young. He became a cabinetmaker in his teens and apprenticed under an older cabinetmaker that made reproduction English furniture. In the early 50's he married mom and became a carpenter. The money was better. he worked on houses but mainly larger warehouses and bridges. When he got to his 40's he was considered disabled because his spine was calcifying. at that time his doctor said he'd decline until he was in a wheelchair. He continued on to complete many projects on his own after that and maybe because he wasn't out working he had more time to share with me and my brothers. He always said he had to keep moving to keep in shape and that meant more projects, not fitness exercise. He worked in a suitable manor for his abilities.
It was ten years ago that he had an accident. he used a golf cart to get around his property and managed to go down a hill backwards and hit a tree. We had to decide then if he was to go through surgery and he did. He survived extreme surgery and came out one year later with his back all pinned together but he could walk and he wasn't paralyzed except for some nerve damage in one leg.
he made it ten more years. he taught me how to build my kitchen cabinets and a lot about woodworking as I was keen to learn and work with him although he could hardly walk by then. The last 5 years he had to be in a home because it was too much for mom to look after but we visited often. My life often circled around helping him and my mom. towards the end it was difficult. he lost the ability to swallow properly and thanks to a tube feed he made it another 6 months.
Before he went I had a nice talk with him and I let him know I have been sharing a lot of his ideas here. I told him that every day in my job and at home how I have been using and sharing all he taught me. He smiled and I know it made him feel good to know how much he helped me.
I think he could see that in a way he lived on, not only through the things he accomplished, but through all the help and the learning that he shared with everyone around him. Suddenly it dawned on me that this must be the reason I have posted so often. He taught me to share info and to help others where I can and I will continue to do so.
Sadly my Sister who was also loved by the family and very well treated by my parents, decided to move almost all their money into her own name and now we are involved in ugly legal action to get it back. I also lost my sister through her actions and she will be missed as well What she has done is dishonest and unforgivable. I think I am more saddened by my sisters actions because they were preventable and she could have chosen to correct them. We will just do our best to cope with that and hopefully we can get mom's money back in her name before it severely affects the care we can give.
Mom and us three brothers took it pretty well. We are sad but also we know he's in a better place now and it was getting hard to see him suffer and he did suffer to give us a bit more time. I am especially surprised to see how well mom took it. we will of course step up our visits with with her. she's in the same care home and since she's not so disabled we can take her out more.
Dad will be sorely missed but I like to think that every time I am able to pass on something he taught me, He lives on in his own way. I'd like to thank all of you for listening and I'm sorry it wasn't such a happy post.
Phil